what I AM doing

I have already made the postcards. The art is done.

Im making an assertion that if Frida knew that her painting would be the first of its kind… of her pain….. that is why we are buying it, right? Not because she painted it perfectly. 

We are paying for the pain. We would be paying her for her pain. For her sharing her pain. Instead the money never allowed her new paints. Or for her pain to be subsided in some way or another.

Or that she used the perfect color pallet./ she did by the way. But all the things, they are not what as a society are saying they are. The paintings are made with what she had on hand. And she fought to paint. 

We are paying for the fight.

I have the audacity to have worked all the trivial things of authenticity. They are both emotionally authentic and authentic pieces of art in their own right.

I have been watching the videos of these guys making things… I have tried to create something in the amount of time you want me to do it in. I have taken in so much information that it hurts. What have you taken in? 

I am creating. I fight to create…. I create movement. Movement through the mail. Movement through the body. Movement through the soul. pooling it…creating the movement.

There is an underlying form of indiscretion. That all artists need to feel pain to create art. I believe this is true to a certain level. I have only the capacity that I own. No more or less. I can’t work any harder at anything. There is my judgment.

The artist has choices. I have choices. Where am I going to spend the spoons. When I am presented with money to take care of the spaces where the spoons were utilized for basic human needs.. those spoons were used. They were gone. The choices become harder to make in the artistic category. My sanity is linked to art, poetry, fibers, living my story. 

All the thoughts here are written over the course of a day. Laptop. Hopefully the first of many. Not even sure where to publish shit like this. Oh… my website has a blog. Shit.. and I just paid for it. Well there you go Kate.

Inhale and exhale.

Im ready.

K