The Substitute

I am the fill…

I am the Substitute teacher. The one you get to learn all the weird cool stuff and then is gone. You are left wanting more… but I am already gone.

I would have been too much for you. I was the perfect amount for a period of time. Then I disappear, but you remember a feeling or maybe a new vocabulary word.

I am the Substitute.

Staying too long is not an option….

you end it, or I end it.. in some way or another.

I have always been the substitute, a full-fledged teacher of so many opportunities .. of yoga, crafts, sitting still, breathing, not master of anything other than my experiences, and knowing just enough of each kind of dance so therefore i can progress your curriculum forward while teaching those small metaphors that only I can see to say.

I have the ability to calm a room while the dance is still dancing.

The Substitute keep the cog running, just know who I am, not the lie you have told yourself. My charm is not so charming when its under scrutiny for not behaving according to who you need me to be on your timing. But by this time you have left. because lets face it,

I am not your first choice.

I am your first choice as a Substitute. You know I will be there with bells, and colors, and smiles, welcoming and loving to all, a beacon of safety and you will learn something cool and fun, as you know in your heart, i am always learning and willing to share.

You have come to depend on the Substitute.

What happens if I lean into this idea. create the space to be the proxy teacher. Where does that leave you? does it open you up to more acceptance of me? You never have to be all in.